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Seinfeld - Who told you to put the balm on!

Seinfeld - Who told you to put the balm on!

  1. [Setting: Back seat of a cab. Jackie and Kramer]
  2. JACKIE: You put the balm on?
    1. Who told you to put the balm on?
    2. I didn't tell you to put the balm on.
    3. Why'd you put the balm on?
    4. You haven't even been to see the doctor.
    5. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.
  3. KRAMER: I guess I screwed up huh Jackie?
  4. JACKIE: Your damn right you screwed up.
    1. Where the hell did you get that damm balm anyway?
  5. KRAMER: The Maestro.
  6. JACKIE: The who? What are you talking about Maestro?
  7. KRAMER: My friend he's a conductor.
  8. JACKIE: Oh oh oh, so a Maestro tells you to put a balm on and you do it?
  9. KRAMER: Well my stomach was burning.
  10. JACKIE: I tell you what this is. This is a public humiliation.
  11. KRAMER: Well I didn't know the balm was gonna work.
  12. JACKIE: Do you know what a balm is?
    1. Have you ever seen a balm?
    2. Didn't you read the instructions?
  13. KRAMER: Well I ...
  14. JACKIE: (interrupts) No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable.
  15. KRAMER: I'm sorry Jackie.
  16. JACKIE: (To cab driver) Pull over here driver this is it.
  17. KRAMER: (Motions with his head) Yeah, get over.
  18. (Scene ends)